Why Care About Marriage...and Divorce

Growing up in the 80’s, I was always worried about divorce. It seemed to be everywhere which is not a surprise since the national divorce rate peaked in the year 1980. 

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If you are like me, you may be wondering why it is important to even worry about the divorce rate or even the rise in cohabiting couples. Here are just a couple of statistics that might get you thinking about why marriage is so important.

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In May 2007, Dallin H. Oaks, a senior apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stated, “Why should we care? Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage helps to unite the needs and desires of couples and the children their unions produce. Because marriage fosters small coopera­tive unions—otherwise known as stable families—it not only enables children to thrive, but also shores up communities, helping family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times.”

 

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Not only are marriages important to the community, they are also important to children. Paul R. Amato published a study in 2005 that stated children who grow up in single parent households as a result of divorce, experience the following:

1. Economic hardship
2. Poor quality parenting
3. Greater exposure to stress

Amato also stated that if we could reduce the number of children growing up in single parent homes, the incidents of repeating a grade and even suicide could be greatly reduced. “In 2002 there were about 29 million children in the United States between the ages of twelve and eighteen... Nearly 7 million children in this age group will have repeated a grade. Increasing the share of adolescents living with two biological parents to the 1980 level…suggests that some 300,000 fewer children would repeat a grade. Correspondingly, increasing the share of adolescents living with two biological parents to the 1970 level…would mean that 643,264 fewer children would repeat a grade. Finally, increasing the share of adolescents in two-parent families to the 1960 level suggests that nearly three-quarters of a million fewer children would repeat a grade.”

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By doing all that we can to support and advocate for strong marriages, we can drastically reduce the number of children who grow up at risk. 

Oaks, once again gives a few ideas on how to strengthen marriages to avoid the pattern of divorce: “[People] should do all within their power to preserve their marriages. They should follow the marriage enrichment counsel in the First Presidency’s message in the April 2007 Ensign and Liahona. To avoid so-called “incompatibility,” they should be best friends, kind and considerate, sensitive to each other’s needs, always seeking to make each other happy. They should be partners in family finances, working together to regulate their desires for temporal things."

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"Don’t treasure up past wrongs, reprocessing them again and again. In a marriage relationship, festering is destructive; forgiving is divine (see D&C 64:9–10). Plead for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord to forgive wrongs (as President Faust has just taught us so beautifully), to overcome faults, and to strengthen relationships.”

 

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If we do all that we can to support families who may be struggling, it will strengthen our society and brighten the lives of future generations.

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References:


Amato, P. (Fall, 2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation. The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96

Oaks, D.H. (May 2007). Divorce. Ensign.

Wilcox, W. B. (2012). The State of Our Unions 2012: Marriage in America: The President's Marriage Agenda. Charlottesville, VA: National Marriage Project, University of Virginia.